接下來的部分,是接下來咨商要談到的事情——Chronic Loneliness。


Chronic loneliness occurs when feelings of loneliness and uncomfortable social isolation go on for a long period of time. It’s characterized by constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect on a deeper level. It can also be accompanied by deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy, poor self-esteem, and self-loathing.

Cigna- Signs and Symptoms of Chronic Loneliness


必須説自從好幾年前那一段結束後,這種孤獨的感覺的確有越來越强烈,尤其是經過了兩年多瘟疫的煎熬。但説到第一次有這種感覺,大概就是在我人在Semenyih研究生年代,第一次分手後病到滾來滾去的那時候。那是第一次如此深刻感受到無助。在此之前,由於身邊總有朋友陪伴從來都不覺得戀愛是個必要,但搬出去大病時才覺得原來孤獨is a thing。


Inability to connect with others on a deeper, more intimate level. Maybe you have friends and family in your life, but engagement with them is at a very surface level. Your interaction doesn’t feel connected in a way that is fulfilling and this disconnection seems never ending.


No close or “best” friends. You have friends, but they are casual friends or acquaintances and you feel you can find no one who truly “gets” you.

如上,我的確不太喜歡跟太多人談太深層的事情。或許是不善於面對離別這件事情吧,從小到大每當終於get comfortable enough to跟別人開始聊比較深的事情時,那個朋友就會因爲家庭的緣故離開我的社交圈。經過幾次后,本來就比較少跟別人聊心事的我,就自然更難有這樣的朋友。


Overwhelming feeling of isolation regardless of where you are and who’s around. You can be at a party surrounded by dozens of people and, yet, you feel isolated, separate, and disengaged. At work, you may feel alienated and alone. Same on a bus, train, or walking down a busy street. It’s as if you’re in your own unbreakable bubble.

所以這幾年(尤其是瘟疫過去後),我有在試圖在綫下多出席一些活動(比如第一次的彩虹G跟剛過去的彩虹節)。説實在還是有點懷念那個大馬部落活動很多的那個年代,但大家好像都move on了,或者也不熱衷於綫下活動了。

When you try to connect or reach out, it’s not reciprocated, and you’re not seen or heard.

沒有特別想要reach out,但分手後我在社交媒體上發的一些文章意外得到朋友的關懷。在這裏感謝大家的支持和安慰。

Exhaustion and burn out when trying to engage socially. If you’re dealing with chronic loneliness, trying to engage and be social with others can leave you feeling exhausted. Continued feelings of being drained can lead to other issues like sleep problems, a weakened immune system, poor diet, and more.


Some studies even suggest that there may be a link between loneliness and an increased risk for developing dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Long term feelings of loneliness and social isolation can also reduce cognitive skills, such as the ability to concentrate, make decisions, problem-solve, and even change negative self-beliefs. And it can ultimately lead to depression.



Talk to your doctor, a therapist, or another health care professional. Chronic loneliness isn’t limited to feelings of social isolation and alienation from others. It is often tied to ongoing and deeply rooted negative beliefs about yourself that can eventually lead to other medical and emotional problems. Let someone know what’s going on.


Engage with other people in a positive, healthy way. Even though it may be difficult, try making the effort to connect with others. Volunteering, hobby clubs, workout groups, and other opportunities, can help boost self-esteem and provide a safe and satisfying way to connect with others.


Get some exercise and sunlight. Getting active and out in the sunshine can help elevate endorphins and serotonin. These “brain hormones” can boost mood, help improve sleep, and make people feel happier.


Find a support group, especially if chronic loneliness is a side effect of some other issue you might be dealing with, such as substance use, loss of a loved one, loneliness from a divorce or break up, a chronic and isolating illness, etc. Receiving support and encouragement from others who may share similar feelings, could help ease symptoms of chronic loneliness.

好佳在身邊好友都很關心我就是,感謝大家 *撒花*


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