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咨商功課之記情緒調節

情緒是什麽?

所以情緒由三個部分組成

A bodily component in the form of central nervous system arousal, as when you experience your heart go aflutter in the presence of a love interest or when you tremble in fear.

Jeffrey S. Nevid, Ph.D., ABPPThe ABCs of Emotions

生理上的反應

A cognitive component, which includes the subjective feeling of the emotion, which we label as fear, love, joy, anger, and so on, as well the judgments we make about our life experiences that trigger emotional reactions (back to this in a moment).

思維的部分

The behavioral component, the third “side” of the emotional coin, is the outward expression of an emotion in overt behavior, such as smiling when happy or approaching someone we love or moving away from a feared object or situation.

行爲的部分

在Cognitive-behavioral therapy的角度來看

Let me explain using a simplified ABC model, as proposed by psychologist Albert Ellis. The “A” stands for an activating event that sets the stage for an emotional response. The “B” stands for beliefs or judgments we make about the event, and the “C” represents the emotional consequences, such as anger, anxiety, sadness, guilt, worry, or for positive events, perhaps joy or happiness.

情緒的產生,是由一件事情(A)觸發判斷(B)進而使之產生(C)。

The emotional consequence (C) isn’t the direct result of the A (activating event) itself, but of the exaggerated or catastrophizing way of thinking (the B) that cognitive-behavioral therapists call a cognitive distortion.

所以情緒不是有一件事情直接觸發,而是中間經過了我們的判斷而產生。

In other words, life experiences are filtered through our belief systems that, in turn, trigger our emotional responses.

而判斷是來自生活經驗的纍積,也就是説當別人對你造謠時,是你的個人經驗使得你判斷這對你不友善,於是才開始憤怒。

認可你的情感

In order to validate and regulate emotions, it’s necessary to be aware that you are experiencing them in the first place.

Mallory Frayn Ph.D.How to Validate Your Emotions

首先要注意的,就是要對情緒的波動有感知

There are three questions you can ask yourself to prompt your awareness of emotions: What am I feeling physically? What am I thinking? What emotional label would I put on this experience?

其實很有趣的是,有時候我們真的必須要這樣反問自己,來厘清自己的感覺。

Paying attention to physical sensations is a helpful starting point because emotions usually present themselves in our bodies to motivate us to action.

身體的感受也是情緒宣泄的管道(比如情緒高昂的時候心跳會加速)。

Thoughts are also helpful to attend to because they provide some context as to what your emotions are communicating to you about your needs and whether or not they are being met.

所以在考慮事情的時候,隨之牽動的情緒也在傳達情感的需求。

Allowing yourself to feel your feelings—to lean in, rather than lean away—can show you that you’re capable of riding the waves of emotion. Because emotions are temporary experiences, they will reduce in intensity over time. Not allowing them to run their course can in fact make them feel more intense for longer, like trying to fight the tide.

所以在遇到事情的時候,停下來感受一下情緒情感的需求是重要的。

Three simple words can go a long way in working to acknowledge and validate how you feel, and they are as follows: “That makes sense.”

人是應該有情緒的

They are a reaction to something that is happening in our environment, a threat detection system as it were, and they don’t pop up out of nowhere.

而且不應當視爲不可理喻的。

In some cases, after being present to your feelings and allowing them to run their course, you may realize that this in and of itself was all that you needed in that moment. Other times, after the intensity of the emotion has reduced, you may want to address whatever led to the emotion in the first place.

有時候情感需求是需要滿足的

The key here is to wait to problem-solve your way out of an emotion until you’ve actually gone through it. If you jump right into figuring out what you need to do to make it go away, you’re effectively telling yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling what you’re feeling, which is a sure-fire way to make it worse.

所以關鍵詞是不要急於反應。

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