無賴騎駿馬肆意翔遊天際

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咨商功課之記情緒調節

我的臨床心理治療師在每次咨商后,都會給我一個列表,要我自己去看看相關的一些文章。這陣子除了不太積極的工作外,我還趕著完成一個工作相關的課程,所以遲到今天才開始好好正式閲讀。畢竟還是得好好寫筆記,就想説直接記載到這裏好了。但話説在前頭,我畢竟不是心理學專家,所以本篇筆記,是完全沒有參考價值的,本人一概不承擔任何後果(aka本人立場不代表本人立場),必要時自己去找臨床心理治療師。

雖然説發佈在這主要服務對象是我,但是畢竟是公開的,所以如果有人不幸找到此篇筆記,然後看到引用部分全部英文的話,很抱歉我沒有提供翻譯服務。

學習如何應對情緒

第一篇的功課,就是這篇處理情緒最短的指引。

When we are confronted with difficult emotions like anxiety, depression, stress, grief, anger, or loneliness, we are quick to search for the off-button on our emotional dashboard instead of taking in the messages they contain.

Steven C. Hayes, Ph.DThe Shortest Guide to Dealing with Emotions

或許我該學會的,就是在決策時停下來想一下自己情緒的需要,而不是永遠以對方的便利為優先考量。

But emotions are not the problem. They are merely messengers. And the messages they carry deserve at least to be heard. They often contain important lessons, and can call us to helpful actions. Often they show us opportunities.

面對利己的事情,我們一般都會感到喜悅。但是遇到比如不公之事,則會感到憤怒。憤怒不見得是負面的事情,我們可以因爲憤怒而表達自己的意見。比如在面對有人插隊的時候,向那個仆街表達這樣會占用了我和後面人的時間請你自己去排隊。

When emotions arise, you can ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” and “Where can I feel it?” and “What does my emotion ask me to do?” and “What does this suggest I am yearning for?”

專注問題的當兒,撥出一點時間照顧好自己情緒的需求,也是必要的。

We like feeling this way, and never want it to stop, and so we cling onto this pleasant feeling, in the hopes of never losing it. Or we detune so it won’t be noticed when it stops, as if being numb is the definition of happiness. We dislike feeling this way, so we push it away as if feelings are the enemy.

至於喜悅,有趣的是有人爲了不感受結束的失落,而選擇完全的忽略。但凡事有兩面,有極力排斥,就有極力把握然後不願鬆手的。至於我是不是那個忽略的人呢?我曾經問過身邊的人,很多都說很少看到我快樂的樣子。

Feelings are not just about like and dislike. They are how our past and present impact us. They help train our ability to notice what is present, based on what we’ve experienced in the past.

某程度這是提醒要更活在當下這件事情吧。

Allowing emotions to be there when they occur, to listen closely to their message, to feel them fully with neither clinging nor needless defense, allows them to serve their proper role.

所以在決策前,我們應該好好聆聽透過情緒傳達的訊息這樣。

情緒調節

Emotion regulation is the ability to exert control over one’s own emotional state. It may involve behaviors such as rethinking a challenging situation to reduce anger or anxiety, hiding visible signs of sadness or fear, or focusing on reasons to feel happy or calm.

Psychology Today Staff – Emotion Regulation

其實如何跟情緒共處,是一門學問了呢。

emotion regulation often involves what experts call “down-regulation,” or reducing the intensity of emotions. A grieving person might down-regulate his sadness by recalling something amusing. An anxious person may cope by distracting herself from the thought that is causing her anxiety. Emotion regulation can also include “up-regulation,” or amping up one’s emotions, which can be useful when an imminent danger or challenge calls for a healthy dose of anxiety or excitement.

調節的方向有兩個,down-regulation,就是減低情緒的强度,而up-regulation則是增强。

The process model of emotion regulation proposed by psychologist James Gross emphasizes that people can act to control their emotions at different points in time—including before they feel an emotion (“antecedent-focused emotion regulation”) and after they have already begun to react emotionally (“response-focused emotion regulation”).

時間點也是關鍵,情緒調節的時機可以發生在當下或前後。

Emotion dysregulation is a component of certain forms of mental illness. Over time, it could have a negative impact on one’s personal well-being and social relationships.

所以情緒調節的失常,可以是精神疾病的其中一個部分。

Certain ways of regulating emotion regulation, such as regularly bottling them in, may also be associated with lower well-being and satisfaction with relationships.

所以長期的忽略,會影響身心健康和對人際關係的滿意度。

這篇是引言文,然後點擊下來就是數不完的文章,所以下一頁我就節選幾篇出來好了

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